4 Problematic Parent/Nanny Situations

Posted on Aug 11 2015

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Relationships between employers and employees can be rough, and the same applies to parents and nannies too. Many a person can not read minds, and chances are neither can your nanny, which makes communication important. Make sure you are clear and your nanny understands what you expect from her to ensure a healthy relationship.

 

We will discuss commonly encountered situations parents struggle to address with their nannies. But first, let's start with basic advice on how to handle any situations:

  • Listen first. It is easy to jump onto conclusion on your own, but listening to your nanny can help you understand what is the underlying reason and act accordingly. Even if she broke your rules, there might be a good reason why she behaved in a certain way in the context of the situation.

  • Keep your cool. If you start by yelling and scolding, your nanny might get angry and you might end up in a heated argument filled with negative emotions. Instead keep your calm, discuss the issues rationally and do not start blaming the nanny. Try to look for solutions which make you both happy.

  • Use your words. No matter how hard a situation, always do your best to communicate and talk through matters with your nanny. Understanding each others viewpoints and effective communication is the key to solving any issues you might face with your nanny.

 

4 Situations and how to solve them

 

1. Your nanny isn't following your disciple strategy


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This one can be a big deal so it's a good idea to bring up before hiring. Discipline should be covered while interviewing nannies. Be clear how you discipline your children and how you expect your nanny to discipline them. If your nanny's views differ and she is not willing to follow yours, she is not a right match for your family. Make sure your nanny will follow your discipline strategy before making the hiring decision.

 

Should your nanny act against your discipline strategy, take the time to review your strategy and expectations with your nanny. You can also demonstrate your disciplinary mantra by role playing. Go over potential disciplinary situations and show to give your nanny a better understanding on how to apply your disciplinary strategy.

 

2. Your nanny wants a raise, but you are not sure whether she has earned it


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Like disciplinary strategy, compensation should be addressed before making a hiring decision. Make it clear under what grounds you are willing to pay and what promotions and bonuses you are willing to give to your nanny.

 

Create a performance review for your nanny and tie it to your performance and bonus guidelines. It should include your nanny's duties, expectations and a rating system. It will allow you both to monitor and evaluate your nanny's performance and see if your nanny meets expectation and deserves a raise. Should your nanny request a raise without you feeling she has earned it, you can use the aforementioned performance review to discuss where she needs to improve and what she should do to get a raise.

 

Another thing to keep in mind is the method of payment. Some nannies might not be comfortable to be handed a pile of cash and counting it in front of you to make sure you paid the right amount. This can be solved with mobile apps or online payments. Remember to ask your nanny for her payment method preference first. Luckily with Kiidu, this isn't an issue since payments are done through Kiidu, making it safe for both parents and nannies.

 

3. Schedule? What schedule?


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Homework at 5, dinner at 6, bed-time story at 7 lights out at 8. Children thrive on consistency, making schedules and routines important. If Parents see a great deal of effort in getting their children to follow routine but their nanny doesn’t follow it, it is a major problem. If your nanny does not follow your schedule, the first thing to do is to evaluate the schedule. Is it reasonable? Are there factors out out of your nanny’s control? If your schedule seems reasonable and nothing is preventing your nanny from following it, have a chat with your nanny.

 

But first, make sure the schedule is clear to your nanny. Sometimes the instructions might have been too vague and your nanny might have misunderstood them. After explaining, tell your nanny why it is important. Tell your nanny why consistency matters and what is your philosophy. Your nanny might just need to understand the reasoning behind it before she makes it her priority.

 

4. You have a hard time setting boundaries with your caregiver

 

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Nannies can have a significant role in our lives, especially if they are live-in, which often makes them feel more like family than an employee. Nannies become attached to children and vice versa making them more engaged and closer to the family. But sometimes it can also lead to issues, especially if clear boundaries have not been established. Your caregiver will learn a great deal of personal details and about your life, and you might feel you can discuss anything with her. But it doesn’t mean your nanny should listen your venting when you are having a bad day. Try to not to expose your nanny to too much information.

 

A good rule of thumb is to discuss only things that are related to your nanny’s job. It is your responsibility to set clear boundaries for your nanny. Communication holds a key position in navigating relationships with your nanny. Without clear communication and boundaries, your nanny might be uncertain of guidelines and go against your wishes without even knowing it. Prevent it by conveying rules and expectations clearly. Talk to your nanny regularly, give her feedback, encourage her to ask questions, give comments and present concerns and address them should there be any.

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