Breaking Up with Nanny What you need to know!

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Finding the right nanny for your kids isn’t easy. But parting with a nanny who has become a part of your family for years is even more difficult. This is more so if the kids already developed an emotional attachment.

If for some reason you have to let go of your nanny, it doesn’t have to end in a negative way. It should not come to a point where you have to break up and part ways without closure.

A Time to Let Go

Whether your child is already old enough to take care of herself, your family is moving out to another place, there is a change in your financial situation, or you are not happy with the performance, there will come a time when you have to say goodbye to a nanny. When this happens, you need to prepare yourself so that you know how to make it easy.

Whatever your reason is for letting go of your nanny, it is important to end on pleasant terms. Doing so will benefit not just the nanny, but your family as well.

Depending on the laws in your place as well as your contract agreement, there may be stipulations about advance notice and severance pay. It is important to check these things before talking with your nanny.

And if ever you struggle on what to do next, here are some tips to make the process less stressful:

Develop a termination plan

The earliest you develop your termination plan, the more prepared you can be to handle the situation.

It’s important to consider the longer the nanny has become a part of your family, the more difficult this decision will be. And if the nanny is already very close to your kids, the more challenging the situation can become. But careful planning can help smoothen the transition.

In your termination plan, it’s important to determine these four things:

  • Final work date
  • When to tell the nanny
  • When to tell the kids
  • Severance pay

The final work date and the date when to tell your nanny are related because most nanny contracts have a stipulation regarding the notice period. In this regard, you should check your contract for reference.

The earliest you can notify your nanny about the plan, the better it will be for her as it gives her time to look for a new job.

Moreover, it’s also a good idea to think about how and when to tell your kids about the plan as it affects them too. They may already develop a close relationship with their nanny, and breaking up could affect them emotionally. Talking with them about the matter could help ease them in this situation.

Finally, it’s important that your termination plan should include severance pay. Depending on the contract, a nanny is entitled to a severance package.

Right timing matters

If you still have small kids, if possible, schedule a talk when the kids are not around so that you can focus on the discussion. If this is not possible, find a time to have a talk when the kids are napping or playing.

Also, you may consider telling your nanny about your plan of ending the contract during her last workday for the week. This can give her time to think things through.

Be prepared what to say

When it’s time to break the news, you should already be prepared for what to tell your nanny. During the discussion, tell the nanny the reason behind the plan, the last day of work, the benefits as well as any plan of maintaining contact.

Tell your kids about the plan

Closure is important, even for kids. That is why you should explain to your kids that the nanny is moving on. Of course, the content of the discussion should be based on their age.

If you’re dismissing the nanny without a fault of her own, it gives your kids (older kids) an opportunity to say goodbye to their nanny before she leaves.

Moreover, if you are letting go of the nanny for doing something wrong, you could simply give your kids a straightforward reason for doing so.

Create an opportunity for closure

When your nanny is leaving on good terms, consider having a farewell celebration. You could share a good meal together and talk about your happy times together. This way, both parties can part ways with good memories.

Don’t forget about

…Severance pay, letter of reference and a parting gift

Severance pay and letter of reference are the least that you can do for a nanny who has served you well for years. The letter of reference can greatly help her find a new family. Moreover, a parting gift which could be in kind or in the form of a cash bonus is a big plus!

Termination Due to Nanny’s Fault

The above tips apply more to termination due to a change in your family’s circumstances. But what if you are letting go because the nanny did something wrong or has violated your contract?

Depending on the seriousness of the infraction, you may have to terminate the nanny immediately, skipping most of the tips we mentioned. It can be hard for both parties but this can be the only best course of action.

If immediate termination is necessary, you should give the nanny her final paycheck and she should turn over all household items such as keys among others.


Breaking up with a nanny is not an easy thing to do. At Kiidu, we will help manage your relationship with your nanny to ensure a less stressful transition in case you need to let go.

If you are in a situation where you are considering parting with your nanny, the first thing you should do is to check your contract. It will help you plan out your subsequent course of action in a legal way.

Moreover, once that’s done, you may consider applying the tips we listed above.

They can help avoid any stressful situations and help make the process a win-win for both your family and the nanny.

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